Green wave breaking -- Green Lip Syndrome

Consider the physics of democracy. The first law of democracy is every squeak gets some grease. The second law is that when a cry for action is met by an equal and opposite response then no action is taken. This leads to system behavior that is described by the Hot Air law.

The Hot Air law is written PV=nRT, where P = pressure, V = volume or loudness, n = number of screamers, and RT = rhetorical temperature. RT is measured on the Direness scale, which ranges from (1) nice but not necessary all the way to (10) imminent catastrophe.

In the case of climate change n has been pretty much constant but RT has gone ballistic. P and V have both increased as a result, but because of the second law no real action has been forthcoming. In fact the ratio Action/RT remains approximately equal to zero because the science is unsettled. Conversely, the ratio of rhetoric to action is approaching infinity.

The result has been a dramatic increase in Green Lip Syndrome or GLS. Green Lip Syndrome is characterized by politicians making repeated gestures toward climate action while still doing nothing. One of the most common forms of GLS involves setting lofty targets with distant dates, while running for office in real time.

In this case the physics of democracy is driven by the physics of reality. The great green wave is breaking on the unquenchable fires of civilization. The screams are deafening but physics is deaf.

David Wojick

Chinese Find World's Largest Loophole

Engineers have found the world's largest loophole in a chemical plant in Quzhou, China. Details are sketchy but according to the New York Times there is an incinerator project at the plant that is worth $500 million on the floor of the Kyoto/EU carbon trading market, but only costs $5 million to build.

In keeping with the Times's policy of not disclosing the facts behind its stories, it is unclear whether this sale has actually occurred or is merely inside a fortune (I'll say!) cookie. No knuckle headed buyer is named.

The flim to this flam is that the incinerator would burn trifluoromethane, or HFC-23, a very potent greenhouse gas that is produced and emitted at the factory here and in several dozen other plants in developing countries. Eliminating the plant's HFC emissions is Kyoto equivalent to eliminating one million cars, without the drivers even noticing.

The Chinese have always said that the Europeans and Japanese are dim witted barbarians. Case closed.

The Washington Pest

Green wave breaking -- Stern & Brown

The great green wave is breaking on the unquenchable fires of civilization. Brit economic guru Stern says climate change will do more damage than both world wars, with the depression thrown in for fun. Brit budget chief Brown responds with proposed 10 pound tax on airfares. Measure for measure, this measures the force of climate hype in Britain. Elsewhere, nothing happens.

David Wojick
Pest nonsense editor

The Washington Pest is back!

Once upon a time there was a web-based satire site called The Washington Pest. That was us and we are them, as it were. We're baaaack!

The Pests